We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
