Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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