We're like a lot better than the average bears
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
