she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
