she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
