i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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