Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
