ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
