Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
