Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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