The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
