i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
