My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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