Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
