He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
