The best revenge is premature balding
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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