it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize