i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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