My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
