Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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