Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
