I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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