Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
