The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize