HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just wanna soil my oats bro
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
