i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
