so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
