I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
