I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
false alarm. still invincible.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
