so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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