I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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