Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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