we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize