trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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