as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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