Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
