I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
