The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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