im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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