Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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