I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
