finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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