Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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