His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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