Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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