Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
