we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
