that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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