this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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