i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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