Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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