im gay
i know
yea but for you.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
