yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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