I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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