im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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