So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
