then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
