My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
im drinking this country out of the recession.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
MIDGETS
????
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
