porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
